"I consider Gay and Kathlyn to be my teachers." -John Bradshaw
If You Can Only Remember One Thing
Sometimes in the heat of the moment or the ongoing press of life, remembering all the great stuff we learned simply disappears. When anger rises, or disappointment wilts the bloom of connection, good intentions and good practices often sink into the muck of right now being right.
Over the years I’ve come to see that one move never lets me down. And because it’s a body-based skill, I can remember it even when my smart cerebral cortex gets rampaged by my territorial brain. We expand on it in our book The Conscious Heart and call it the Master Commitment:
I accept relationship itself as a primary teacher about myself,
others and the mysteries of the universe. I let every relationship
interaction, no matter how seemingly important or trivial, deepen
my connection to my own essence, and the essence of others and
the universe. I commit to clearing up anything that keeps me from
unity with myself, others and the universe. I make a commitment
to intimacy that is bigger than my commitment to being right,
justifying my positions, and repeating my conditioned patterns.
Even with years of practice, the total weave of this commitment sometimes frays a bit in the heat of action. But here’s the shorthand version that you can try right now, then use especially when you get stuck. First, create a pleasant hmmm sound through your whole out breath. Really enjoy the vibration of the hmmm and feel where it buzzes your throat and sinuses. Repeat the hmmm until you feel a shift toward more flow. THEN, after your next hmmm, gesture toward you heart in a big circle with you hand and say, “Hmmm, what can I learn from this?”
We’ve found that learning comes in lots of unexpected ways, so don’t expect the confetti to fall from the sky the moment you wonder. Your wondering WILL produce new connections and new possibilities, so watch for them with…wonder. You might get stuck again in the next few minutes, and this powerful little tool opens you up to receiving life again.
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